"Gratitude is the memory of the heart."

-Jean Baptiste Massieu

Mrs. G. called to tell me Steve died in his sleep. He was only 61. There was a time when I would have thought that was a well lived long life. His emails made me laugh many times. Mrs. G and Steve had been married for four short years nearly thirty years ago and he still came up in our conversations every single time we talked. He had such a long list of faults and I heard about them frequently. Today was different. Mrs. G wrote a charming letter to Steve, full of memories and happy times. Her voice was different, she felt lighter. Death seems to erase the bad.

Gratitude is a salve that soothes our soul. It is the way to a happier and more rewarding life.

Sunday Paper

Fattest paper of the week. Savoring every page in quiet contemplation
While sipping caffeinated liquid from a favorite cup.
The ads for Halloween and Lindsey Buckingham sings in town tonight;
Events and tragedies are printed side by side like rotten potpourri.
The photograph took center stage.
Tired mother looking down her young son's coffin, senseless death;
Consoling his lifeless body, her hands are keepers of their story.
Paper of black and white has blurred to gray;
Thoughts of scary neighborhoods, just twenty minutes by car away.
Thirty days have taken twenty one
And Kansas claims this the worst in her history.
Sunday paper, fattest paper of the week.
Sad, so very sad, then placed inside the recycling bin.

Recipe for Muscle Pain

One pint Vodka
5 Avocado seeds

Dry avocado seeds for five days.
Place inside Vodka bottle,
Put in sun for ten days.
The liquid will turn red and oily.

Rub into sore muscles or back
for pain relief.

Father Joshua's recipe
http://psychicsurgeon.org

Shake It Like A Polaroid Picture

Are you doing your thing? Listening to your heart strings and making it happen or wandering aimlessly while beating to the sound of other people's drums? Nicole Kenney and KS Rives have the most amazing project. They're asking people to answer to the question of what they would do before they die and then taking a snapshot with a Polaroid camera. What a good idea. It made me panic at first because I could hear the clock ticking but then I wrote my dream on paper. The rush was overwhelming and now it feels like a promise to myself that must be met.
http://www.beforeIdieIwantto.org
Their website mentions that when people are suicidal, if someone tells them not to do anything until help arrives and they have agreed, they always wait. There is much to be said about our spoken word of honor and how it gets stronger when we write it down. The contract becomes legit. Jack Canfield, author of "The Power of Focus" suggests writing down 101 things you would love to accomplish. (www.canfieldcoaching.com) Before you know it, things on the list get crossed off because they are happening. It's the Law of Attraction working.

Before any of this was known to me, I would cut pictures out of my favorite magazines and then recycle the rest of the magazine. One winter night, as I was flipping through the pages for reference, it shocked me to notice how many things I now owned from those pictures! The soup bowls came from Pier One and they had a design I really liked. I remember imagining what kind of soup I'd make and almost smelling it in the air as I clippped and glued. My heart was comforted. On a summer day, I stopped at a garage sale and there were the bowls on a table. Eight, perfect and never been used. I liked the $4 price tag considering they had originally been $8 per bowl.

So, what do you want to do before YOU die? Dance, be happy and sing and don't forget to shake it like a Polaroid picture!

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time:
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusted death. Out, out brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more.

William Shakespeare

Psychic Surgeon, Father Joshua

I read a bumper sticker once that said, "in life, try everything once except for incest and folk dancing." So when my friend Barbara sent an email that a psychic surgeon was going to be speaking at her book store, (http://aquariusbooks.com/) I had to go! He had such a gentleness with a touch of funny. I won't say what he endured as a teenager but it made me so sad and I couldn't believe he still had such love. Mesmerized, I scheduled an appointment for a healing. Twice, I wanted to cancel but didn't. How was I going to explain this one to my husband especially when there wasn't anything wrong with me?

"Dress comfortably and be in a prayerful state," were Father Joshua's words. It was starting to get dark and I was the last client. Why didn't I tell anyone where I'd be in case he accidentally ripped me open and I died on the table? Oh my God I was nervous! I laid on a massage table that was covered with a white sheet and the Bible was placed under my head. He began with prayer which calmed me immediately. Blessed holy water was used along with oil for his hands and then he started his work. Holy cow, I felt his hands inside my organs and could hear a slushing sound so I closed my eyes. Why did I wear my new white shirt? It was probably covered in blood. This is no exaggeration.

I was born with one leg shorter than the other but it only bothered my mom who complained when she hemmed my pants. Twenty four years ago, I injured my left knee during pregnancy and I could hear crunching sounds when I walked which was starting to give me pain. Sometimes it would give out when I least expected it and my family wanted me to have surgery. Father Joshua shook my legs and said, "your leg used to be two inches shorter than the other." I never told him. When he pushed into my stomach I felt a tug and he told me my bladder was lifted to the correct spot, and that hurt a little. Surprisingly, there wasn't any blood and I felt like I had just had a massage, long nap and a chocolate. It was hard to walk to the car, I was so high.

I still bend my knee trying to hear a crunching sound, but it is healed. I danced at a wedding recently without fear of falling. I wish more people could have this opportunity. He is truly gifted and blessed by God. You can listen to his podcast at http://talkshoe.com/ (Conscious Living)
As far as psychic surgeons go, don't knock it until you try it! Trippy.

Father Joshua http://www.psychicsurgeon.org

Coin Purse

He was sitting on a table with glass beaded bracelets and torquoise jewelry. The cutest little thing that I had to have. One of a kind, handmade with detail and outlined in seed beads, down to his little red tongue. Cut from velvet, and made with care. Twenty dollars and he was mine, wrapped inside a little red bag with handles made of twine.

Little Bird Holtz

artist/designer

http://jewelrybylittlebird.vpweb.com

The Jim Self Interview

"Alchemy is accomplished by changing the frequency of thought, altering the harmonics of matter and applying the elements of Love to create the desired result." Jim Self

http://www.masteringalchemy.com

Was I the only one who had to read that sentence twice? When I play John Mellencamp, he sings, "change your mind, you'll change your life." That, I can digest. Notice that Jim has capitalized the word love because he has made it an important "verb". I like that. Love is action that turns itself into alchemy which makes all our dreams possible. Jim goes beyond what is being understood as manifesting. He spoke about the importance of changing our vibration to resonate at a higher level. When people are angry, their bodies are at low level and it's much harder for them to create their future. I noticed when he was speaking, he said the word breathe many times. He says it's our breathe that controls our mind, not the other way around.

Watch little kids. If they have something fantastic to tell, they run full speed at you, gasping for air. A few words come out of their mouths, they breathe deeply again and continue. Usually, they run away laughing, no stress at all. I know a few clients who would probably delete me from their data base if I did this, but it's entertaining to know. (Big people breathe in private!)

A pediatrican told me once that if someone is crying, it's very hard to stop their bleeding and so we need to calm them down first. It just reminds me to meditate regularly. If you go to Jim's website, you can download a free video that better explains this process. Now, I'm going to breathe and maybe that darn song will get out of my mind. hummhumlala, silver and gold...

Thoughts on Cootie Insurance

Do little boys still sell cootie insurance on the playground? When I was a kid it was a quarter and acted as protection for the boys. Death would surely come if they had been touched by a girl! yee gads, the horror. My friends would wait until most had paid before we'd chase them with our germy hands. What ever happened to that yearly transaction at recess? Today, I was told that a young mother is considering sending her kindergardener to a private school. Fair enough I thought, having gone to a Catholic school myself. When I found out she's changing schools because there are children in the neighborhood school that the government is helping because of poverty, I cringed. Another new mom told me she's a little concerned herself because some of the kids act up. My heart hurts. They're only five, their hands are so tiny and they have squeeky mouse voices. I was a new mom once so I know where they're coming from. We want to protect them from the world, and try to buy grown up cootie insurance.

In my experience, the best protection for our children is our love and understanding. They will find friends who detour them onto the wrong road but if we remain constant and nurturing, they find themselves back on the main drag. Same goes for the children who appear to have nothing from the beginning. Studies show that if they have had one kind neighbor or teacher, they do grow up to become wonderful people. I would suggest starting with a smile. All young mothers are nervous, especially those who are poor. Their egos are on overdrive and that's why you'll run into tension. For those of us who are older, we can help by offering to buy supplies. New shoes are always welcome as well as nutritious snacks.

Wulie Wee

Julie Michelle, my belle
I love you
I love you
forever and ever.

Inside the Magic Box (Egan Sanders The Magic Box)

It was the summer of '72 and we were tan. Monica and I shared a bedroom in the basement that was going to be our cool hippy place. Thursday nights, the public swimming pool was open until midnight and we could hear the music from our room. We wanted to be older so bad it hurt. Our square radio that had been covered in contact paper to look like wood had a short in the cord so it required a delicate touch to avoid getting shocked. Dad faux painted the walls in what we then thought was a putrid green with brown stripes. (Nowadays, it's very chic) What did we know? Back then, you walked up town. There weren't rides for us. It took two months and an agreement but Monica and I finally had eight bucks to buy the "flicker light."As soon as we walked into that store, her body language changed. She was trying to be cool in the old people hippy store. They burned incense and had posters that glowed in the dark. The lights were amazing with twinkles on the tips and do not touch signs. I loved that place! We bought a huge poster of a black and white circle that could make you blind if you stared at it long enough. Monica was the one who carried the light home. It was a four inch tall ceramic cylinder with a light bulb on top that flickered back and forth with a white plug.

We started arguing about where the light should be placed. The poster was on my side of the room so she wanted the light near her bed. It got accidentally chipped which meant it wasn't perfect anymore. Seemed like every time we turned on the old radio, the same song would be playing. A woman sang about two kingdoms that were fighting over a gold box. Many people died and in the end, one kingdom wins and upon opening the box was a piece of paper. That was it. The words read, "peace on earth." Then she sings, go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend, you'll testify in the end. All that fighting, for nothing. (song: One Tin Soldier by Coven )

Those words follow me to this day....peace on earth.  Egan Sanders. www.egansanders.com  has a short but powerful book called, "The Magic Box." He talks about how our role in manifesting things into our lives would be better if we first worked on our self-improvement. It's worth a read.  Peace on earth and let it begin with me.

Red Crow

When Wendy told me we would be speaking with a Shaman named Red Crow, I wanted to ask him if he knew my grandson, Happy Surprise. It was his native American heritage that intrigued me most. My great grandmother was a full blooded Cherokee Indian but I didn't learn about this until I was in my forties. When we prayed, we bowed to the East, faced the South, turned to the West and ended in the North. It was just my way and I found myself following the native American healing techniques by instinct, it was in my blood. Sometimes I questioned past lives and wondered how many times I had lit the fires for food while I sat in my own backyard. What a double surprise to find out Red Crow is also a past life regressionist!

On a first meeting with a Shaman, it's been said before you can be healed, the question will be, "when was the last time you danced?" So things of the heart that bring you joy would be a big first step in healing. In today's society of fast, fast, fast, it's no wonder so many people are sick and depending on medications as a quick fix. Red Crow talked about how our healing depends on our own thoughts. http://www.newawakening.biz

What about past lives? Some of my friends don't believe in them. I do, I have had many. The dream comes every spring. I can't find my groom and I'm angry. The wedding dress is wet but I blame it on the weather. There are red tree buds in the street. Why can't I find him? There is a newspaper and the headline is shocking but the only part I can read is, "March 18". You can listen to the podcast where Red Crow interrupts Wendy to tell her about my past life and how I had drowned with my new husband while on my honeymoon to New York. Yes, I'm afraid of water and yes, I love the East Coast. Go figure. http://www.talkshoe.com (Conscious Living)