Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Music Inside

  In my dream last night, my guitar was making pretty music but the strings were made out of wire and all but two were broken and curled. The invisible man who usually talks but is never seen was telling me how to play correctly but all I could think about were the broken wires and how strange the dream was because I don't even play a guitar! Even weirder, I woke up to the sound of two very loud cords in my room and intuitively thought those were the ones my body needs to hear. While drinking coffee, my daughter said how she had heard beautiful music and a guitar, causing me to almost die on the spot from choking on my coffee.

 Yes, this day was spent on reflection of that dream but it just now made sense after I double spaced. Before going to bed, my sister Rose called talking a hundred miles a minute. Rose, the artist who married the Jew, moved to Chicago and now has to wait tables so that her kids can eat like kings. (her words) Rose, the red headed sister of mine who was an actress and always wanted to meet David Letterman. She laughs louder than most, can carry seven folded bath towels on top of her head, dancing and singing jazz. My stomach hurts when we're together from laughing.

 Before going to bed last night, I did feel angry because she didn't hear me or let me finish my sentence. If dreams are there to remind us of the importance of hearing the music and ignoring the broken pieces, I'm glad to have them! Thanks for letting me get this out. I hope you are the cord that plays music.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Fall Equinox

When air has turned the day
to equal parts of light
and equal parts of dark night
the muse arrives on
yearly cue, dressed in
garments of orange and reds
dancing on black twigs
She whispers names
of every love alive or dead
"remember me"
awakening lovers
from their beds
leaving nothing
but a faint scent of smoke.

Monday, October 18, 2010

The High School Reunion (35 years)

 Getting old sucks and so does reliving the what if's. Waiting until the last minute to buy something new to wear and then changing into something old is just plain nerves not to mention trying to hide missed workouts! The past is a scary thing to face especially with a different personality and life that you were in that past. I wasn't going to go to my reunion but Jon Bon Jovi was singing on the radio, "who says you can't go home?" So I called my closest girlfriends, reminded them of favors I had done and threatened retaliation if they didn't go too.
 Jane drove from Texas, Debbie bought a new shirt, Jeanne hosted a pre-party and I was an hour late! It's easy to blame the current life but my son Charlie, had bought a new car and wanted to show off for me. Then we got lost because my old hometown is growing too fast.
  It wasn't so bad, in fact it was an evening full of laughs and something I would do over again. So, before you throw away your high school invitation, think about it. Think about the people who still live in your past, the ones who scared the crap out of you, the ones you loved, especially the what if's because that's what makes you better!

  "Our job is to look into the world for reasons to believe in ourselves. Each time we find one, it replaces the limitations that WE may have held ourselves to in the past. It's when we abandon ourselves to that new possibility that we shatter the old paradigm of false limits and find the spontaneous healing of our beliefs."
                                                                                                          ~Gregg Braden~

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Famous People

You won't see many famous people where I live. There was the time I saw football player Marcus Allen at the empty Chinese restaurant during an emotional boyfriend breakup that my daughter was going through. He looked puzzled because I didn't react to his presence, I remember. I sat with Rosie Greer, another football legend had my picture taken with him but when I brought it home for my young son, he could have cared less, never heard of the guy. Willis Reed, basketball, shook my husband's hand and because he was so excited to meet him, Willis thought we were friends once. There was the time I fell in the mud and got sprayed with sprinklers to pick up an autographed picture of  golfer, Tom Watson only to see that our signatures were identical! Well, who would believe that? I was so close to Rod Stewart once, I could have touched his nose. We looked each other in the eyes and he said, "hello" in an English sounding accent.

This isn't to brag, just to let you know, there aren't many famous people where I live that are noticeable anyway. So you can imagine my feelings when I saw an old classmate today from my childhood town on a soap opera! Connie Ventress, playing the maid on All My Children. I probably went to every school play she was in back in the day. Brave old Connie who left our little town to be a movie star!

Famous people, the untouchables. Have you ever wanted to be one? Not me, but I do want my dreams to come true and I do want people to know my name, sometimes, but not when I'm having lattes with my friends. Congratulations Connie! We love you in Olathe!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Finding Your "Oomph"

 Your oomph is a terrible thing to lose. It's the thing that keeps you up late at night and gets you going first thing in the morning. Many great works of art were made thanks to "oomph", the light bulb was created by oomph energy. Most people can recognize who has it and who doesn't but nobody can find it for you. I lost mine for four months this year. The urge to write poetry, blog or cook didn't exist and was replaced by dramas, other people's. Have you had those kinds of summers? Nobody gets along, so and so is out of work, this friend is divorcing, that one drinks too much and they don't do things "our" way. Life gets heavy.

 Life is also a huge school room full of lessons to be learned. I just passed a grade! I found my oopmh! It arrived on a crisp October morning near the fountains that flowed with pink water. A stranger gave it to me. He had the bluest eye with sores on his lips and a weight of blankets and clothes on his back. He cried when I hugged him and said he fought in Vietnam for me. "Where do I donate?" he asked. "No, the hugs are free, today is Global Free Hug Day!" Those eyes still linger in my mind. He could have been my brother, how ironic, intelligent, compassionate and napping on the hill without a roof.
  Is irony our friend? The little boy beaming with happiness on his crowded apartment balcony full of toys. No backyard or swing set, but he lives in a paradise of his own mind! How ironic. What does irony teach? When it presents itself, we might ask ourselves what are we judging? If your "oomph" is missing, who or what have you judged or tried to fix your way? I learned at a weekend retreat to ask myself when faced with difficult people, "What would Love do?" Remember that God has their awakening handled, our job is to love without judgement.

 How ironic. Me, standing on a crowded street corner in Kansas City, Missouri holding a honk if you hug sign and giving away hugs to strangers. Yes, me, the grown up little girl who's mother was told she wouldn't make it in society due to her shyness. Thank goodness I wasn't made aware of that teacher's judgement until I was somewhat over my shyness! Makes me want to write a poem and bake a loaf of banana nut bread at 11:56 p.m....life is creative again!

  "Remember it's a grand illusion and deep inside, we're all the same."