What if? The choices in your life can either keep you prisoner in a self inflicted hell or make you so happy you think you could fly. What if you quit blaming someone else for your life and started living the one you want? Eldon Taylor, author of the book, Choices and Illusions says it can be done! When he was working in prisons, trying to figure out a way for reform, he noticed a similarity between the prisoners. It was always someone else's fault and they played the role of victim. Poor pitiful me. When our inner talk blames, nothing in our life will move. Isn't there someone in your life who you'd like to put tape on their mouths because of constant complaining? I did an experiement once and complained to a complainer only to be rudely cut off in the middle of a phone conversation! Looks like complainers don't like it either. It is the drink of poison.
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I'm not a scientist but I do know there is a law of nature that requires what goes out to come back, my boomerang theory.Eldon mentionted it is written in the Bible as well. So, what if? What if I would have yelled at Beverly for calling me so early in the morning after I had been awake most of the night with sick children? I wanted to. She needed me to help her buy paint brushes for her mom who was taking up oils. What if I had complained that I didn't have one extra penny for my five children which meant my mom was getting nothing? I wanted to. Beverly called every day with questions about the brushes and bragged that her spending budget was one hundred dollars. What if I said F-U,I wanted to. Finally, I agreed to leave my oldest sick child with the younger sick one to meet Beverly at the art store. If you have ever painted using Qtips, you would understand how luxurious a sable brush feels in your fingers. I let my imagination run free of the images I could bring to life with these brushes. Finally, $100 worth of assorted brushes were picked. Afterwards, I was thankful that I had bit my jealous tongue.
Beverly called again the next day. She worked at the boutique where I consigned some of my work. Would I come to the shop to see how she had wrapped the present and enjoy hot cider with her? What if I had said, "you have got to be kidding?!" I wanted to. The baby in our family had just said she no longer believed in Santa Claus as I walked out the door. My stomach hurt, I wanted to cry but Beverly had cider and cookies waiting. I loved her very much like an annoying big sister that day. Can you imagine how it felt when she handed me a cylinder shaped package to open and $100 worth of paint brushes fell into my lap? Whew. When I walked into my house, everything was a mess but my youngest ran to hug me saying, "mommy! I still believe in Santa Claus because he's in my heart, so he must still be real!"
The following year, the brushes were used to paint a screen that I donated to one of my favorite charities which sold for $5,700. What if? What if we paused before reacting? I'm not perfect but this is one time I'm glad I kept my cool!
It's so true that complainers don't want to hear other people complaining, unless it's to agree with their own complaints. They sure don't want the focus shifted from them! I remember once when a woman I worked with learned that something terrible had happened to one of my friends. She couldn't bear to be outdown on the misery scale and struggled to come up with something to top it! I think that's whn I first realized that some people choose to be unhappy. As President Lincoln said, "We're all about as happy as we choose to be."
ReplyDeleteYou're a very happy person! That's why people gravitate to you. A recently published study says that happy people raise the level of happiness in everyone they meet, and it psreads like ripples to the people beyond your circle.
The boomerang effect is interesting, too.