Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Recycled Again

Death is a trouble maker and I hate when it comes to visit. It wrecks everyone's energy, causing fights to errupt and fear to grow. Plans are altered and our future has to be rewritten. It slept with me last night, whispering plans of its abduction like a sneaky snake that's waiting to bite. No matter how many people we lose, the pain is always fresh. Some books say we chose three different ways we will leave this world. The time I was in a gas station in Juarez, Mexico waiting for the car to be washed, all of a sudden the room got fuzzy and I was having trouble speaking. My mouth was sideways and I knew I was leaving but didn't understand how or why. I even managed a laugh in my thoughts about how I would never have guessed this would be my end. Thank God, my aunt saw what was happening and put a coke in my mouth. Like the flick of a light switch, I was back to normal! Do we get three chances and a head start with death?
It is comforting to read and listen to other people's stories about death. Annamaria Hemingway's book, "Practicing Conscious Living and Dying" is a great help with a collection of uplifting stories, showing death as an integral part of life.
What comforts me most when waiting for a loved one's passing is the telling of dreams. My little Dylan dreamed about his great-great grandmother who he's never met. The night before, I was thinking of her and so was my sister but she chose to visit her little great-great grandson. He told us how she held his little sister and gave her rootbeer which would be something she did when she was alive! Although he's never seen her picture, his description of her was correct.
Like the tree that loses its leaves in the fall and regrows them in the spring, we too will be.

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